Breaking the Record :Better than Backdoor Sluts 9:
by SomeRandomKyleBroflovskiFan
Summary: A series of StanXKyle oneshots per chapter with each one of them containing a hot sex scene. I am going to try and break the record of the amount of sex scenes ever done in one StanXKyle fic. Haha, it's like the hotest porn ever made!


A/N: Okay, so this first one-shot is called, 'Dirty Biology Talk'. I just randomly had this idea one day when I was studying for my biology exam lol.

Oh, and just to let u know, I'm posting this first, but there will be an introduction later. I just have to write it up first, but I'm too eager to upload this thing, and it's so fucking late lol.

Summary: Stan knows that he sucks at Biology, so Kyle tutors him. When explained the old fashioned way, Stan has no clue about anything said, so Kyle tries a different approach. SXK SLASH! XD

Rating: Definitely rated 'M'

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park nor do I own any of the characters in it.

**One last thing: Apparently, FanFic has sand in its vagina, so it keeps deleting my fic or somethin because it's too hot to handle maybe ;). I don't know :S I don't understand. They don't do this to other people's fics :(. So I'm having to repost this thing**** A LOT, so I might have to tone this chap's heat down a little bit later if it keeps this up, but hopefully not too much ;). We'll see what happens.**

C------------8

DIRTY BIOLOGY TALK:

_Stan's POV:_

"Okay, so how many chromosomes do gametes have?" I asked again, trying to mull the information over in my brain.

Kyle sat across from me in a chair by the desk in my room with an open science textbook in his lap as I sat back in my beanbag chair (or as I like to call it, 'a giant hacky sack'). "Twenty-three" Kyle sighed, exasperated, looking a little impatient as he tapped the pencil he held on the edge of the open page.

"So... what are gametes, again?" I asked as I was developing a nasty brain cramp.

Kyle bowed his head, his green eyes squeezed shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Stan, how many times do we have to go over this?" he grunted in annoyance. We were left in nothing but the sound of silence as I didn't reply, and just sat there in confusion. He looked up towards me before he spoke again, rolling his eyes as he tried to explain all over again. "Each human cell has forty-six chromosomes with the exception of of the gamete cell, which has only half the chromosomes" he began using this tired version of his smart tone within his voice, which he mostly only used in class, making him sound immensely sexy. "This is so because once the male gamete fertilizes the female gamete, the number of chromosomes in both parent cells add up to forty-six, and form together the zygote, which uses the mitosis process to create identical cells, further developing the offspring." Kyle finished.

"... Huh?" was all I managed to get out. English translation, please?

"Jesus Christ, dude," my best friend groaned. "we've gone through this a million times! What don't you get?"

"Everything"

"Don't you pay any fucking attention at all in class?" Kyle has always had a short temper, and it was clear that he was nearly close to ringing my neck.

"Well, dude, I told you I needed a tutor" I pointed out, smiling kindly before there was a pause as Kyle didn't lighten up to this, and was still fuming with frustration. I then let my smile fade before beginning to speak seriously. "Look," I sighed. "I know I may be stupid, but that's the whole reason I had asked you to tutor me. I thought that someone really smart could help me try and understand this crap, which is why I picked you. I mean, I'm trying my best" I spoke sadly, wishing my brain could just comprehend the material more easily.

Kyle's facial features softened at this, his anger subsided as he set the book aside, stood from his chair, and made his way over to me, kneeling to my eye-level as his knees began to sink into the giant hacky sack. "I'm sorry, baby," he said with an apologetic look as he leaned in, giving me a loving kiss on my accepting lips. "I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't," I cracked a small smile. "but it's true. I am stupid. I don't get half the things said in Biology, so I have to go through it all again slowly bit by bit later, and cram all that shit into my crowded head. I don't blame you for getting pissed with me."

No, it's not true, Stan. Tons of people find Biology tough" my boyfriend smiled to me warmly, stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers after he had shifted his body closer to mine.

"You don't"

"I'm weird" Kyle laughed lightly, grinning.

"No," I smiled, pressing our foreheads together. "you're just perfect, is all."

Kyle smiled as a faint blush crossed his complexion before he kissed me thankfully in response to my compliment. Our lips moved together in a series of kisses as both our tongues flailed around the other's, a small moan admitted from me into his mouth.

Kyle was the one to pull away, and end the kiss just the same as he had started it as he observed me in silence with a pensive look. I watched him without a word, staring back at him awkwardly before his expression turned into a smirk with a hint of mischief in his wicked green eyes. "Let me try and explain it again," Kyle finally spoke, breathing in a low whisper. "and this time, I'll try and go slower, and use more understandable terms as best I can."

I replied with a nod as I let him use one of his hands on my chest to gently push me all the way back down into the beanbag chair, him following me afterwards, and reconnecting our lips again. I then felt a curious hand make its way down towards my waist as it slid under my white t-shirt, his fingertips pressing into my abs with a craving. He brought the end of my shirt up, pulling it past my chest to expose as much as he could. His lips left mine with a last few feverish kisses as his fingernails dug into my skin hungrily before he gave me a dreamy smile, hovering over me after he had pulled away. I smiled back.

"Okay," he began, his warm breath now felt on my chest once he had moved slowly down as I could feel the tips of his red curls tickling my skin. "people are made up of trillions of cells," Kyle breathed as he ran his lips downwards along my stomach, nibbling softly at my flesh. I could feel my heart pounding as my breathing quickened in anticipation. "which are constantly dividing into more identical copies" He lifted his head as he caught my eyes in a gaze with a suggestive smirk. ".. like the skin cells," Kyle took this opportunity to glide his hand up the surface of my body, pressing his palm gently upwards along my skin as his fingertips slowly caressed my erect nipples. "right?"

I whimpered in response. Was it okay that I was aroused by this talk of biology? His teeth grazed past my navel as he began to pull the zipper down on my jeans slowly, undoing the button, and letting my hard on hang out freely.

"However," he spoke seductively. "there's a reproductive cell called the gamete, or in other words the egg of the woman or the spooge of the man," Kyle kissed down my erection until he came to the hilt. I closed my eyes, moaning with fervor. "which is located in the..._ testicular_.. area."

My eyes still shut, I opened my mouth in a gasp once I had felt him suck one of my balls into his mouth, composing rather loud sucking noises as one of his hands held a firm grip on my thigh, and the other around the shaft of my excitement, beginning to stroke me slowly at first. "Kyle," I moaned. "oh god." the exertion of his grasping hand becoming faster, and faster. I then felt my boyfriend's mouth pull away from my balls as he let my thigh go, and continued to fondle them with his fingers, his other hand wrapped tightly around the base of my cock. Almost immediately, he brought his mouth down past the head, engulfing the skin he could reach without choking, and continuing to caress the further parts he couldn't get his lips around with his griping fingers. I groaned in pleasure as his head of scarlet curls bobbed up, and down quickly, letting sounds like the sucking of a lollypop fill the room. His tempo then began to slow down as I felt his tongue swirl around the tip when he pulled up, dragging his mouth to the top. "Aww, fuck" I sighed in-between pants in complete ecstasy, erotic waves lapping down my spin all the way down to my toes, making them curl.

Just then, I felt his warm mouth lift completely off of me as he crawled over top, and looked down at me with an evil smile. He was teasing me. I gazed back at him with a strong passion in my eyes as I uttered a lustful grunt before his lips crashed into mine fiercely. I returned the kiss vigorously with a great desire, silently wishing that he'd continue.

Kyle broke away from me abruptly as he immediately left my lips, and went back in-between my upper thighs, sucking faster, and harder than before. I cried as I began to climb closer to the pinnacle of my orgasm, my hips thrusting into his mouth eagerly to reach my much needed release, and tangling my fingers in his soft curls almost violently. "Shit, Kyle... I'm gonna cum!" I exclaimed before my boyfriend lifted himself off of my shaft as he continued to pump my dick with his hand, causing me to release my seed, shooting onto my bare stomach. I felt myself glistening with sweat, and semen as my breaths began to slow down in their pace, an after-sex tremor running down my body as I began to tremble uncontrollably in complete euphoria. He smiled down at me, giving me a tender kiss on my forehead as I shook underneath him.

"So, once the male shoots his sperm," Kyle started up again as he brought his hand down on my stomach, and rubbed my spooge along my skin before he cleaned the sticky substance all right up, swallowing every last drop. "the gamete cell fertilizes the female egg, both together building a zygote - or in other words - a baby. So, when two gametes come together, each one of the two having twenty-three chromosomes, how many chromosomes do both of them add up to together?"

"Uh, forty-six... which is the same number in all the other human cells," I voiced my thoughts as I was finally getting it. "so the baby starts off with one cell, and keeps dividing into more, and more identical cells, and continues until it's fully developed as a human?"

"Yes!" Kyle nodded, smiling widely, excited that I finally understood.

"So," I began, finally realizing the english translation. "basically a dude bangs a chick, and knocks her up, creating a fetus?"

"Yeah, pretty much"

"Well, why the fuck don't they just say that instead of using all these retarded terms?"

"'Cause, dude, it's biology" Kyle laughed.

"Well, I like the way you teach it a hell of a lot better." I smiled, my voice raspy as he lay on top of me on the giant hacky sack, my arms wrapped around his torso. "the dirty biology talk gets me hot."

"I thought you'd like it" Kyle simpered. "it definitely helps you understand."

A pause was collected as we lay there, gazing at each other before I leaned up, and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. It was soft, and sweet, and lasted only until I felt my neck could hold my head up no longer as the back of my head dropped back down into the chair mostly made up of styrofoam beans.

"So, Stan, are you ready to cover my next lesson?" Kyle spoke suggestively with that same glint of mischief returning to his lively green eye.

"Mmm.. you know it, teach" I replied in a husky voice, squeezing one of his ass cheeks playfully. "what do I have to learn next?"

"Basically, it's about hermaphrodite flowers fucking themselves" he chuckled.

"And how's that lesson going to work in Kyle Broflovski style?" I asked slyly, very curious to what his dirty biology-filled mind could possibly be thinking.

He moved both his eyebrows in a seductive manner. "We'll just have to wait, and see what happens, won't we?"

_**The End**_

C---------------8

A/N: Yay! There's one one-shot for u, and this is only the beginning. Much more hot scenes and intriguing plots to come! XD

Peace Out! XP 


End file.
